When it comes to dating, I have recently been informed that things are not the way they used to be. What I have heard from men who are dating is that there is a whole new strategy / technology for how to be, or act, when approaching and then following up with women you are interested in.
I decided to see for myself. I unleashed the power of my Google browser to bring me to the new and exciting world of dating. I found so much …it all was totally mind numbing and yet totally perfect and valid for young men who have yet to cut their teeth on all the fun that is available. Most likely our dad’s never taught us, our friends were not all that good at it either and the guys who are good smugly won’t reveal their greatest secrets about being a serially successful dater. What I found on line are the following:
• dating coaches
• seduction coaches
• pick up chicks Boot camps
• DVD’s that will teach you how to get laid
• books to buy, or Kindle, that will teach you “The Game”
• NLP methods to use that will subconsciously manipulate / influence a circumstance to your favor ( I do bristle at this one as opportunities to use this inappropriately exist )
and all are GUARANTEED!!
After you have:
• taken their courses
• read their books
• been to their seminars
• integrated all the latest exhaustive technology
• and let them take you out on “live fire missions”…
You WILL then be the fearless and ‘consistently closing’ stud that all your friends will look up to!
and, I have several questions:
• what’s next? (you will eventually get tired of all this)
• Are you going to be the 30, 40 or 50 something year old man who has his strategic game finely honed to a razor’s edge but has realized that something is missing?
• What if you were so busy strategizing your way into the feminine fold (mental) and you never realized that you have no idea how to listen to your body’s own natural intelligence (below the neck).
o Remember how you were coached by the dating experts to do the push pull, the takeaway, to have a scripted conversation, to be too busy and unavailable.. to name just a few? (ultimately all mental yet informed by some basic intuitive sense)
• Who are you when the first 5 minutes wears off and she sees you?
I know several men in their 40’s who are now interested, and are actually self – directed with dynamic intention toward finding that one woman they can settle down with. These are good men. They have good hearts, they are intelligent, kind and generous. In an effort to achieve their goal, they have jumped into the dating world I have outlined earlier (which works great and is valuable for young men!!) and have completely bypassed the idea that they can just show up as a man where no games, no manipulative techniques and no strategies are necessary.
What if men were able to approach women with their own unique integrated masculine confidence which comes from just knowing who they are as men instead of just having the kind of confidence that comes just from being able to ‘handle’ women?
This unique integrated masculine confidence is not a mental process. It is an authentic way of being and an awareness that comes from the core.
Imagine the kind of powerful, integrated, open, loving and ultimately beautiful woman who responds to such a man! This woman is not likely one who will respond to a series of techniques that may wear out after 5 minutes and which then require a consistent refresh. This woman will open and surrender to a man who is present, clear, honorable and connected to his heart and his balls.
After 5 minutes, she will know the difference between a man running game and a man who is authentic.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with a good snappy opening line. Just follow through with the authentic man you are and the rest falls in rather easily. Even when it sometimes occurs clumsily, the fact that you are consistently authentic will be what wins her over and keeps her wanting to be with you until / if she changes her mind.
Even if being in relationship with one woman has no appeal to you now, the value of having the integrated masculine confidence that comes from knowing who you are, will open a life to you that is both powerful and of ease. This way of being will also benefit you in the business and social arenas. Let alone the personal freedom from the subconscious stress and dis-ease that comes from the not knowing who you are now manifesting as doubt and fear.
So what does Tantra have to do with all this? Tantra is a path of meditation that opens the energetic doors of our internal workings that at times keep us locked down and tight. When we are present, fully connected to our bodies and tapped into its natural intelligence, we can then wield the power of an intuitive knowing that is informed by a clear and conscious assessment of every day life occurrences.
Then, the possibility of living a powerful life as a man and experience the magnificence of woman is available.
Every Sunday at the Men’s Tantra Circle, in a safe and sacred space, we explore and discuss 7 Core Principles and use Tantric techniques which result in living the life of an integrated man.