Tantra in a 7 Eleven?! It’s the last thing you would expect right?
Yet little does anyone know that Tantric connection is available all the time and with anyone you choose and the best news is that you don’t always need a towel afterwards!!
It’s all about the connection… and we ALL want to connect. We ALL have an innate desire to be seen, heard, loved and understood!
This is how it recently happened to me in a 7 Eleven:
It’s rare that I am in 7 Eleven stores anymore especially since I stopped drinking the $3.95 1.5 liter bottles of Spanada red wine and slurpees back in 1980 (!). Yet not too long ago, I found myself standing in a rather long line at the local 7 Eleven because I ran out of bananas.
While standing in that line, I found myself really very curious, and even fascinated, about ALL that was happening around me. So much activity from the people in line jockeying anonymously, and seemingly disconnectedly, for position like cars jumping in and out of slow Los Angeles traffic. The only real words I heard came from the clerk at the counter around a stated price followed rapidly by the ubiquitous call, “Next customer!” The view ahead of me opened up more as I moved up the line which more clearly revealed the automatic and impersonal exchanges occurring at the register ahead of me…..
“Next!”
It was now my turn as I approached with my bananas. I watched the cashier, a man from an entirely different background and culture, turn his rapid fire attention toward me. Suddenly as if in slow motion, and I mean everything slowed down including how muted the volume of all the others around me became as I saw my hand with my money reach out to his open and outstretched hand. Instead of mindlessly looking somewhere else, I suddenly decided that I wanted to have just a brief look into his eyes. I wanted to “see” him.
I don’t know why this was important enough for time to seemingly slow down and allow this to occur. Maybe I felt intrigued by this man who from outward appearances looked so differently than I, yet way down deep is very much like me? Who’s to know?! It was all so unplanned…it just happened.
So our hands were coming closer together and just as the money met his hand, he looked up. He looked right up into my open and curious gaze and he met me. I noticed a momentary softening in the lines of his work face and his eyes opened just a little bit more. He, for just a moment, played his part in allowing us to meet. I felt a terrific calm… an openness…. and my breathing was quiet.
There was no charge…there was no reaction in this meeting that was quiet and that completed almost as soon as it began…and that was it. I left the store quite taken by how simple it all was. There was no fear about being seen or in me seeing him. It all seemed so natural and I felt so alive. (and in case there is a comedian reading this…there were no violins playing in the background either!)
Instead of it being a transaction of just money for bananas, it touched on a very human level. Minutes later, I began to wonder, how many times a day is the potential for human and momentary connection either realized or dismissed? This inquiry has taken my own awareness of what is happening around me to another level. I look to see who is paying attention. Who is open for that meeting where the exchange is driven just by an openness or curiosity of another and not driven by an agenda or story!?
So what is Tantric about this?
Tantra, for me is about:
• a true connection where there is an open heart
• having the courage to see and be seen
• embracing the present moment with all 5 senses (or more if you have them)
For me, I know that when I:
• just slow down and breathe
• let my guard down
• abandon my stories and judgments
• remove the filters of the past and the future between me and another
• choose to be seen
• slow down enough to feel the dynamic tension that exists between all living creatures
• pause for even the tiniest of moments and experience the benefit of Conscious Touch
• drop into my body and listen to and operate from the Truth that resides in my gut instead of being distracted by my inner dialog and mental chatter ……
…..I am Present (the essence of Tantra) and have gotten far enough out of my own way so that in a space of calm and ease the very real gap between no connection and a rich, rewarding and dynamic Tantric connection is bridged.
It is in this gap…no matter where you are, or with whom, you can
• taste all the layers and textures of food. (how can you “meet” your meal..this is Tantra too!)
• give of yourself in the listening of another
• feel the residual moisture remaining on your cheek after a kiss
• feel the warmth of another man’s hand when you shake it
• so acutely feel the breeze wafting over your body gently disturbing the finest of hairs on your arm
• feel the touch of your child as they reach up to whisper in your ear
• taste the aroma of your beloved as they move closely into your embrace
It is in this gap, where my appreciation for the moment exists amidst a backdrop of absolute wonderment that confirms my gratitude for the very breath I breathe and for the gifts that are present in my life.
Lastly, and this is the punch line: it is in my willingness to “see” and be present and open to all that is around me that allows others to “see” me. This is an Unspoken Agreement. It may even be a Law of Nature (?) The clerk in the 7 Eleven “saw” me and I “saw” him because we chose to be seen. Without him being open, or vice versa, the meeting could not have occurred.
Where does this show up, or not, in your life?
How are you moving with, or against, this Unspoken Agreement or Law of Nature?!
Can you now see that the possibility of Tantra exists everywhere…even in a 7 Eleven?!
Come to the weekly Sunday Men’s Circle that host here in Los Angeles where we use simple yet dynamic techniques to awaken the body and get us out of our heads. We do exercises around the Core Masculine Principles which when integrated allow to us to live an authentic life of ease and grace and increase our awareness and possibilities of rich and dynamic Tantric connections everywhere in our lives!
I would love your comments. Let your voice be heard!